I'm be honest... this week was a slow week. I taught fewer lessons this week than any week of my mission. It's been hard, and battling discouragement is an ongoing thing for me. Rejection, for some reason, has lately been more painful than ever. I think it's because I am nearing the end of my mission and so I have a clearer idea of what I want to see happen... my hopes are high. And those hopes, currently, are not being fulfilled. I feel like I am trying as hard as I ever have before, but for some reason the results are just not coming. There's this part of The District 2 where Elder Murray is talking about how he feels that he and his companion have been doing their best--they feel they are they best they've ever been on their missions, and at the came time "the baptisms just stopped." Right now I am feeling that way.
We got a new Ward Mission Leader yesterday! That was really exciting. Our previous one was "less active" as far as helping us out, and this new one seems really excited about getting the ward more involved. That is something that will improve our missionary work. It's hard because almost all the members work until 8 pm, or later, so we can't visit them. We've been working with the bishop, and that's been good, but we've done as much as we can right now with him. The way we'll succeed now, really, is through the link of the Ward Mission Leader.
This week I have been reading about submitting our will to the will of the Father. I read a talk that talked about how there are two ways to do that. We can give up our behaviors that don't match what God wants, and do the actions we are commanded to despite wanting something else. We accomplish much good, but in our hearts we still hold on to our "natural man" desires. The other way, the better way, is to give up our behaviors that are not according to God's will--give up our habits, attitudes, ways of thinking, and our very desires. When we give it up in our hearts as well as in our actions, it is then that the Atonement of Christ can enter our lives and change our natures. Our will becomes God's will--our will is to do what God wants, and that desire becomes stronger than anything else. In this way, not only do we do what the Savior would do, we become as the Savior is. I am working on ways to better apply this in my life, and understand more about this. Christ was the perfect example of this. He came into the world to do the will of the One that sent Him.